You’ve got to hand it to the Japanese. They have the lowest murder rate in the world, the lowest number of alcoholics in any non-Muslim nation, and the least numer of heavy-set people. That said, there sure are a lot of unexplained deaths, heavy drinkers and people suffering from metabolic syndrome.

WTF is ‘metabolic syndrome’, you ask? From what I can tell, it’s Japan’s way of saying “your unhealthy lifestyle is okay, and your stomach is big because you have a disease.”

Excuse me while I roll my eyes with dramatic flair.

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